god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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