we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
