Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
