Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you had me at cake vodka
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
