Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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