Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I've blown a few things in my day
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
