So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
