How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
