just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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