in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
