apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Randomize
