before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
