Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
