well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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