just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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