He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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