after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
