Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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