Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
