Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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