I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
