What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
