Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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