8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
