Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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