Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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