listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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