im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
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Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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