it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
