i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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