Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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