I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
