I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
