if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
