i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
