That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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