Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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