she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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