I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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