Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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