So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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