I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just had sex bonerless
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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