Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
