Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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