Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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