at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
