So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
