a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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