Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
