Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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