I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
