It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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