have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
