The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
