There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
