plz talk dirty to me
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
