How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
