Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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