He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
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I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
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Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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