I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Everyone says I win the strip club
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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