He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
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obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
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there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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