Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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