Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Randomize
