atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize