let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
