didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
