its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
