You're so nebulous sometimes
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize