But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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